New submission from Suhas R
I’m a 23 yr old guy.This was when I was 16.I had gone with my mother and cousin there.The queue there is gender based so I was alone.
I was standing in a queue wearing dhoti when a man behind me started groping my ass.I kept quiet for sometime and then came a little front.I could not move very far as it was a queue and didnt want to create a scene.
He was followed me and caught my hand and pulled it a towards him.I didn’t realize what he was trying to do until he made me touch is penis.I withdrew my hand.There were people all around me but nobody noticed.He then brought his hand around me trying to touch my penis but I pushed him back.Then I silently went near an uncle I knew. Seeing that he didnt do anything.
Just before leaving the temple I saw him again.He smiled at me.I didnt respond and just left.
New submission from Nisha
As usual I took the Metro to go back home. I got into the train and was standing as usual minding my own business. In front of me sat a row of men. Three of them were squeezed into the two seats which are reserved for the ‘Old and Physically Challenged’. One of them was engrossed in playing games on his mobile phone. When the men sitting next to him, got up to disembark at their station, this chap made room for his friend to sit as well. When I asked him to shift he made only a bit of space for me. So I had to literally squeeze myself in that little space. That would not have bugged me as much if he had refrained at that point.
When I was about to sit, he shifted again a bit. So that when I sat, I partially sat on his knee. This he made even more humiliating by smirking. When I finally managed to sit, I had to squeeze myself in. My eyes hurt due to sleep deprivation and I had kept my bag on my lap so that I could lean over onto it and close my eyes for sometime. This man had to disturb me further so that it became an ordeal for me. He pushed himself towards me so that I was squeezed further. He then went back to his own mobile phone game. On the next station, a girl, dressed in Jeans and a top came into the metro. She was also minding her own business, listening to music. This man looked at her, actually gave her the top to bottom stripping look. I stared at him while he was doing this. Unabashedly he looked at me, met my eyes, stared at me and then went back to his mobile phone game. I felt sick sitting next to him.
Then providence interfered. At the very next station, an old man came into the metro. He asked Mr. Pervert and his friend to stand up from the reserved seats. When they had done that he sat down next to me but gave enough space so that I could ‘unsqueeze’ myself and sit comfortably. This man stood near the door of the metro where all he could see was men around him. Good for you Mr. Pervert.
New submission from Himel Sarkar
And even as we’re debating it, talking about it, formulating laws or asking our less-than-responsible citizens to ‘Man Up’ in the winding alleys of Chandni Chowk to the plush bus stands of Connaught place, the wide market places of Nehru Place to the crossroads of the national highways, in a land where ethics, laws or social protocols have no meaning, the dark shenanigan appears and suddenly if you happen to be a woman without pepper spray, new to the city or even remotely off your guard you’re in serious trouble. The problem is serious, its malignant and its global, like cancer.
A serious implication to this seemingly innocent problem is the lasting impact that it leaves on the mind of the person who has been assaulted which often results in the elimination of that persons trust in social interactions. When we go to a mall to do our last minute shopping we trust that we aren’t being followed. When we see people gambling in secluded bus stops we trust that we wont get haggled into joining them. The impact is more traumatizing than imaginable. The end result is isolation, fear and in extreme cases… suicide.
The little secret that attackers know and use to their advantage is that they intimidate bystanders into inaction by loudness and dramatization. Street harassment provides the harasser the opportunity to flip the social structure. The disorganized and rowdy rule the civilized. The riffraff rule the roost. The uses his actions to control not only the victim but the onlookers as well. Anarchy.
What is known as the bystander effect is that the bystander tries to rationalize his inaction. They are faced with a choice and they justify their actions by excuses such as “Its not my problem”, “Im getting late for work” or “ Oh come-on She doesn’t look hurt.” While it is accepted that laws can only do so much. What might help is a citizen’s realization that we have a stake in one another, that what keeps us united is far greater than what tears us apart and if only more people realized this we may not be able to protect every woman, minor or tourist but we can create profound changes in our society.
To me an ideal handling of the grim situation we are faced with is the preservation of the hopes of the people. The hope of a young college student who believes that she shares the right to roam the streets of Delhi without fear, the hope of the wife of the defence personnel who is convinced that she doesn’t need her husband around to protect her, the hope of a rural athlete who travels to delhi in search of better opportunities and better facilities and believes she has the right to reach her stars. The hope of a plump, bespectacled kid with a funny name who stands knowing that he shares a protected and unchallenged place in New Delhi.
New submission from Mukund Palat Rao
It is always the woman’s fault isn’t it? The way she dressed, did you look at her? She was inviting trouble. With all this venturing out late at night and returning back home alone. Wasn’t something like this bound to happen? These are oft repeated phrases after any untoward incident on the street. Unfortunately this is how we have been brought up.
I might be from the opposite gender but it is tough not to notice the deep inequalities that lie between the genders in our society. Women are eve-teased and heckled at every day. Yet for some inexplicable reason almost everyone pins the fault upon the victim.
Our sisters and daughters are advised not to venture out late at night or wear clothes that show even a little bit of skin but, we never teach the men that passing snide remarks, or harassing and calling women names is both deeply offensive and morally incorrect.
We might now have our first woman President and have passed a Women’s Bill in the parliament but on the ground things have hardly changed. An idea of an event like the ‘Slut Walk’ is a chance for us to help bring women’s issues to the forefront. However such an event will not be successful until it includes an educative session for the general public on why such common perceptions are wrong. Otherwise it will end up as an event where the people taking part shout slogans no one understands and the men who have come there to ogle at the women also end up returning satisfied. Recent social science surveys in India have concluded that it is not just the men who share such perceptions but, in lots of cases women too agree with them. It has been found that many a time women actually support female infanticide because they feel that a male progeny helps propagate the family line and is a less of a burden on the family. An explanation of why a woman would support such practices in spite of having suffered personally because of them is something incomprehensible. It is indeed unfortunate that having been brought up in a male chauvinistic society some women too have come to share the same biased ideals with regards gender roles etc. that some of the men-folk in our society hold.
No article on street harassment could be complete without a mention of the millions of children who live on the street along footpaths and next to traffic signals begging for alms. The number of street children has been estimated at more than eleven million. Traditionally street harassment has always been associated with eve-teasing of women, I feel that the plight of the many children who have been forced (read harassed) into this profession is no better. At least in some cases a woman who has been eve-teased might still have a home to return to. (God forbid! Praying that it was restricted to eve-teasing alone and nothing worse) However such is not the case with these children. The child is used as an acceptable front for the tout who has ‘harassed’ them into begging because people are generally more comfortable at handing out money to children as compared to adults. Often on being unsuccessful in collecting money they are physically abused and beaten up. The children in desperation often resort to taking up drugs and gambling. Once the child grows up the girls are then conveniently sold off to pimps who use them as prostitutes and then men generally take to becoming alcoholics and drug addicts and sit beside roads and engage in eve-teasing. This is the vicious cycle that must be broken. However I must add that not all cases follow this trajectory and there have been many cases when people have managed to break out of this cycle. It would be incorrect on my part to generalise all cases to a history such as this but I do add that this story is true or partially true for many individuals who have been sucked into this life.
I must also mention that I do not squarely pin all the blame of eve-teasing to men who have grown up on the streets. Many educated men too feel that it is their birth right to treat women as lesser mortals. Until gender equality becomes an issue that can be discussed openly and those who partake in such shameful acts such as street harassment be made to see the light, it will be tough to find a solution for this shameful practice that is practised in our society.
New submission from kazi
As a 20 Year old Born bred and brought up in bandra and currently studying in london, I may not have much exposure to the rest of India but I can definitely make a comparison between mumbai and London.
Although Mumbai is supposed to be the most cosmopolitan city in India, somehow the pride really doesn’t resonate within me. The question smacks me in the face that if this is really the educated class, we are truly , deeply screwed.
The scene takes place in MMK college of which I am an alumnus. Valentine’s Day . I had forgotten, but the date was circled pretty important by the rest of the college. I found out when I actually reached there.
9.00AM in the morning, tons of men, loads of roses, not a girl in sight, I wondered why. The first girl entered at 9.30. A shy girl who probably had to submit some work to the teacher. Today was not her day. The Speakers blasted “Main Deewana…………..” The Men adjusted their collars, tucked in their shirts and put on their perfume. GAME TIME. The first person to approach was my class president. Hands in the air. Pelvis in the air . Hands in the air. Pelvis in the air. And then finally “ Accept Rose Please?”.She managed to walk away as quickly as possible without uttering a word. The Class President jogged back to the group rose in mouth plucked by another student (male) in the most seductive way possible.The revelries continued till 1 pm with everyone getting a chance to show off their disco skills.
I didn’t consider at the time that this was harassment but after coming to London which is a slight bit more sensitive towards issues like this, thngs like that don’t seem fun, just vulgar.
Btw the reason why I am writing in Hollaback Delhi and not Hollaback Mumbai is not because I am daft in the head but because of a friend supporting Hollaback Delhi (name withheld on purpose)
Thanks
New submission from Surbhi Baveja
Okay, So Street Harassment, something so normal now. Getting cat-called in the society is mostly faced by women.
Its a kind of confession but earlier I used to feel a little proud that I’m gaining someone’s attention. But as I grew, I realized that these are not compliments, this is harassment. Our society is quite messed up. Sex and power are all messed up. A lady just wants herself to be considered worthy. But “worthwhile” for ladies tends to mean “sexually worthy”, in the society’s eyes.
I faced this kind of harassment the moment I stepped out of my house to meet a friend. As I opened the gate and took a few steps forward, two guys on a bike, passed on some very dirty remarks and fled away. It was so humiliating.
I felt so unsafe even in front of my own house.
In another incident, a man whistled at me, went across the road and started masturbating. I was so terrified and ran as fast as I could! I was so helpless. The whole lane was isolated and it took me another 15 minutes to find an auto. Finally I did, and I don’t know how many times I thanked God. I still get goosebumps when I think about this incident. After encountering such incidents, I strongly feel that Hollaback is important! This behavior is implicitly menacing and tormenting. I definitely support this movement.
New submission from Nikita
Street harassment is as old a phenomenon as mankind itself. Street harassment in general is understood only to be eve teasing by people. But in true sense it also includes passing unnecessary comments on elderly, needy and poor, and disabled people, unnecessary honking on the streets, stalking, troubling the pedestrians with rash driving and much more.
Street harassment is experienced in day to day life by many people, young girls generally being the main target. I too became a witness to one such incident while travelling in my car. It had just stopped raining. Enjoying the pleasant weather I was staring out of the window at the world that surrounded me and was experiencing a sense of joy within when suddenly I saw two young boys going on a bike and troubling the young girls walking on the street by splashing the water collected on the streets on them with the high speed and their rash driving. But this was not it! They were passing comments and gesturing them by flicking their bags. In a situation like this the girls didn’t have much of an option but to stare in anger at them while they drove past laughing.
This was just one of the many incidents that happen at every corner of the world. People who cause street harassment probably don’t know the effect their actions have on others. We can just hope that they realize it and improve. Let’s get the better of them!
New submission from Devika Parashar
All my life, I’d only heard terrible stories about sexual and street harassment in Delhi and thanked my stars feeling a million times blessed to be living in a city much safer. The stories disturbed me, but I was assured that I’d never be confronted with anything of that kind since my presence in Delhi was restricted only to short family, house bound vacations. Well, I was wrong.
I was fourteen. I was visiting my aunts. We decided to go to the nearby shopping complex and I was unaware of the experience that awaited me. We decided to grab a quick bite at Mc Donalds. A tiny, crowded staircase led the way up to the eating area. I stood there with my tray when a man flashed by through the tiny space between me and the wall. His entire body brushed against my torso and I felt awkward, but I ignored it and took no note. The very next second, he came down the steps the same way and this time put forth his hands while running down. His hands ran over my entire torso. I stood there shell shocked. This time, I knew for sure that it wasn’t my overtly suspicious mind, but the truth. I stood there feeling violated and helpless. The people around me were too busy among themselves to notice anything that had happened. After a minute of shock, I decided to run after him. I ran down the steps, tray still in my hands, but was too late. He’d disappeared. It all happened so fast, I hadn’t even registered how he looked.
What that man did for a second of pleasure or whatever it is that makes men behave like absolute and complete animals left that fourteen year old angry with a bitter memory that can never be erased. This was the first time I was ‘eve teased’. It was the first time I’d encountered something like that and what I felt that day is something I can probably never be able to put correctly in words. Worse things happen and on a very regular basis. My story’s just one of the many-one of the many much much worse and disturbing ones. If this left me so bitter, I cannot even begin to imagine what girls go through when they are raped, stalked, groped regularly or harassed while they walk out on the street. And that is why Hollaback is important. That is why we need to bring about a change. We need to be supportive of each other and need to empathize and work with each other to bring about that change we’ve been craving so very desperately. It seems impossible maybe, but I am absolutely sure it isn’t something we can’t do. If you’ve read this, please put down your story/experience/opinion too. You have no idea what an inspiration one particular story or incident can be for somebody. Support this movement. We’re all working for each other. Street harassment must end. We need to feel safe when we go shopping or eating or dancing or movie watching or just to pick up our groceries or vegetables or when on a walk or going to work or college. It really is high time.
